Morpheus
by catalystkrish
Summary: Morpheus's feelings towards Alyssa and a few moments from their past told in his perspective.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Splintered fic. I haven't yet read the other books, and don't own the first, so please excuse any errors. Everyhting, the characters, the idea, the plots, it all belongs to the great A.G. Howard.**

The new child has been born, and she's a reminder of my failure. If possible, she looks even more like Alice than her mother does. Or maybe it's just my bitterness, my hatred of Alison for betraying me.

Just like the rest of them.

The thing that kills me is the knowledge that I almost got through to her. She had begun to be interested, but then Tommy Toes stepped into her life. With eyes too small and smile too wide, he was positively ugly. But she fell in love immediately, and forgot all about poor Morpheus.

Poor me.

My heart aches. The sprites sense it. They flutter around, the little nuisances, constantly inquiring about my health. After a while, I snap, telling them all to just leave me alone. For once.

It's ironic, since I've always been alone.

Alison named the child Alyssa. At least it wasn't a boy. I think I would've thrown a fit. I'm not patient; 75 years is far, far too long. I can't be bound to Queen Red forever. I have to escape.

I have to try again. Yet my bones feel weary just thinking about it. Somehow, I know it won't work. Alison loves her child, too much; she won't let me get anywhere near her. All of the girls, the problem was with trust. They didn't trust me. How can I get Alyssa to trust me?

Well, what're the greatest bonds in a child's life? Motherly love, and friendship. I'm not about to pull a Red and impersonate Alison, so I settle for the latter. I'll be her friend. Teach her about Wonderland, the things she needs to get through the tests. I'll teach her to trust me, and love me, so that when I call her, she comes at once.

It appears that I'll be having a childhood for the first time in my life. And I can't help but be excited. This will work. I know it.

It has to.


	2. Chapter 2

I have a friend in Alyssa Gardner. A friend that escapes with me in the dead of night to a magical world, where people can fly and flowers eat aphids, where magic is as common as tea.

She isn't like the rest. I find myself getting lost in her childish wonder, living a life I've sorely missed through her pure, beautiful blue eyes.

I can see the queen in her, a special beauty already showing through her gold ringlets and chiming laugh. Even the sprites love her. They touch her silken hair reverently and whisper secrets into her small, delicate ears.

I feel guilty thinking of what will come. I'm setting her up for a horrible fate, I know that. But it can't be helped. It must be done. Still, my stomach twists when I dwell upon it. I can't help feeling like I'm ruining her life, taking away her innocence and her right to a life of peace. So I pretend like we're just best friends, playmates, soaring together in the skies of Wonderland.

I have to be careful in my bliss, though. I still rely on Alison as a path to her daughter, and I can feel her suspicion. The fear and unease that gnaws at her when Alyssa tells her of flying and caterpillars and smoke.

Tommy Toes thinks it's adorable, his daughter's wild imagination. God, how I hate him. If not for him, Alyssa wouldn't have to go through this. It would've been Alison, and everything would've been set right.

But, of course, without him, there would've been no Alyssa.

She is everything to me. My heart, my soul, my very life. In becoming a child, I opened myself up to her. Now, I trust her and love her just as she loves me.

It's frightening. I would do anything for her. I would tear down Wonderland to keep her safe. I would rip off my wings and sacrifice my magic and burn all the hats in my wardrobe to be with her.

No one can break us apart. Especially not Alison. I won't let her.


	3. Chapter 3

And then I make the mistake.

I've been noticing changes in me for a while now. The sprites complain about my sullen attitude and wild mood swings. For me, I'm just trying to battle the longing. Every second I'm away from her, it becomes more acute, more painful. I fear for her. What if she tripped and fell, and cut herself? What if someone hurt her? What if she needed me?

I flee to her world more and more, to lose myself in her. She is a drug to me, and I am an addict. I can't keep away.

It's storming when I arrive, raindrops pelting my wings. She stands on the other side of the door, watched through the window at the raging storm. Her hair curls softly around her ears and spills down to her shoulders. The curls are starting to smooth away, like Alison's did, but for the moment they're still there. A reminder of her youth and innocence.

 _Alyssa Gardner. You will be a beauty when you grow up._

I flutter to the window and twitch my antennae at her. She beams with joy and recognition. Her moth friend, come to play with her. She unlatches the door and springs out, into the rain. It soaks into her hair and plasters it to her head.

I dance ahead of her, teasing her. She shrieks with delight and tries to capture me in her tiny hands. The longing falls away from me, leaving a sense of pure ecstasy behind.

And then I hear Alison Gardner scream.

She's seen us, her darling daughter skipping after a very familiar moth in a rainstorm. She charges out of the house, her blue eyes alight with a murderous fury, armed with a pair of very deadly metal shears.

She's intent on me, intent on silencing me forever. Fear courses through me and I fly as high and fast as I can, trying to escape the snapping blades.

Alyssa cries out. "Mommy! No!"

The darling child runs behind her mother as the shears get closer to me. Alyssa, in a final attempt to save me, leaps in front of the blades and throws her hands in the path of the shears.

I hear the snipping, the sound of flesh opening, the oozing of blood. I hear Alyssa fall to the ground, hear Alison scream with fear and horror and sorrow. I should stop, go back, make sure Alyssa's okay.

But I don't. I'm too swallowed with fear as to what Alison will do to me. I fly high, up and up and up.

It doesn't matter how high I go. I can't seem to escape Alison's heartbroken sobs. I can't escape the blood.


	4. Chapter 4

That night, I visit Alison's dreams. She's waiting for me, a image of herself ready to confront me. She looks livid.

" _Morpheus,"_ she spits.

"Alison," I drawl. "Lovely to see you again, darling."

She scowls at me. "You monster. You absolute freak."

"I'm flattered."

"How dare you endanger my child, my baby? How dare you toy with her? How dare you try and make her a pawn in your little game?"

I frown at her. "Tut, tut, Alison. You haven't been listening to your little girl. She loves me. That's why she threw herself in front of those shears of yours, and that's why she's hurt."

"She's hurt because of you."

"I'm not the one who cut her hands."

"I'm not talking about that." There's a triumphant gleam in her eyes. "She's heartbroken. She bled for you and you left her. She may only be five, but she knows what true love is, and what isn't. Whatever twisted feeling you have for her, it isn't love. No one who truly loved her would leave her to bleed."

My heart twists. Alison's struck a nerve, and she knows it. "You don't know what you're talking about," I growl. "I love her like no one else, like nothing else. She is everything to me. Don't talk to me about love!"

"I can't believe it," she says with a cruel smile. "Morpheus, trapped in the will of a child. Well, you won't have to worry about that anymore. I'm not letting you get near her again."

I snarl. "Pray tell, how do you propose to do that? You're going to a full booking at the loony bin tomorrow. You won't be a part of her life anymore."

"Vow it," she says. "You owe to me. To her. For leaving, for breaking her heart."

She's caught me there, trapped between my guilt and an inborn hatred of vows. "Fine," I grit. "I vow on my life magic not to come near, touch, communicate with, and/or reach out to Alyssa, as long as she doesn't go looking for me first."

It hurts to say it, but I have to. Who knows what Alison would resort to to keep her daughter safe. At least I have one reliable loophole.

Alison's eyes narrow, but she accepts. "Don't worry, moth," she sneers. "My daughter won't remember you when she comes of age. All the time you spent together will be lost. She will never reach out to you, or any part of her past. I'll make sure of it."

And with that, she's gone.


	5. Chapter 5

The longing never leaves me.

I learn to bear it, console myself by thinking of her. Her. She'll be coming down here soon. Soon, she'll be in my arms again. Everything will be back to the way it was.

I intended to have Alison free me from the Deathspeak and Wonderland from its curse, and then send her back. But her daughter is a different story. Once I have her in my arms, I will never let her go.

She's mine, by right. We spent our childhood together, built ourselves off of each other. I crave her, I desire her more than anything.

I turn the desire outward to the Ivory Queen, pretend it's her I dream about. I pretend she's the one who holds my heart captive.

If only she knew.

Gossamer teases me about it. "This girl better come soon," she says. "You look like you're ready to kidnap her."

"Technically," I reply, "I will be kidnapping her. Only she'll be willing about it."

She has grown into a beauty, like her mother. Eyes like sapphires, skin smoother than silk, hair long and straight and thick, like spun gold. I long to run my hands through that hair. I long to touch that skin. When I can, I catch glimpses of her in mirrors passing. Sometimes she sees me, most times she doesn't.

I could look at her for days, months on end. But that's all I can do.

Look.


End file.
